Have you ever had to decide who should live and who should die? And do you want to feel what real problems are, not the kind from daily life or from work? Not that something is not going well, that someone offended you, that you do not have money for the clothes you want, new electronics, or a holiday?
Visit just one charity website for medical treatment and you will understand. It is always something deeply personal, something inner for me. Do you know what it feels like when you cannot help everyone, when each person has their own story and life that suddenly turns into a nightmare, and everything else becomes small and pointless? It hits you hard and brings you back to ground.
And who do you help? Who deserves it more, and is that question even fair? Would you pass over an adult person just because they have already lived and seen the world, even if it means helping a small child who still has joyful years ahead, birthdays, holidays, happiness for the child and the parents. Who do you choose?
Everyone carries their own fate, especially children, who are so innocent and pure in their life. And then you start judging, even those for whom your rational mind says there is almost no chance at all. With such a decision, do you not sentence someone to death? Do you even have the right to decide that, and who gave you that right? How do you explain this to your conscience, to your feelings, to your inner self? And how do you sleep at night after that?
You feel yourself helpless and shaken by the truth of the reality. And you realize that you cannot help everyone, and more than that, that money is not the essence of life.
You donate, and somehow you feel even worse, because you cannot help everyone. Fate and life. You only pray that you are not next on that list, or a child, or someone close to you, because then there is no way out. You want to live a little longer without worry, to enjoy the people you love, and to tell yourself that with mercy you are buying your place among the living. But can you really buy it that way?
Then your daily life pulls you back in again. Problems with colleagues, work, family. You step into your bubble, counting how many problems you have. Until the next time reality hits you in the face, and you see how small your worries really are, how unimportant they look next to the scale and cruelty of life.
And it feels ugly, and it feels sad. And you truly decide who should live and who should die.
© 2026 Nikola Vasilev